
"Having it All". We hear this phrase so often. It can be positive— “Wow you really have it all!”— or negative— “Are you trying to have it all?”. Lately, I've been reflecting on what “all” is supposed to mean. I think I’ve figured it out— and I think I have it all.
Having it all means having a perfect life. No life could ever be perfect. It means having a life that checks enough boxes.
As usual, I turned to lists to help me figure this out. I started with a list of all the things I absolutely must have in my life. Things like enough food to eat and a roof over my head. Whatever is essential. Then I made a list of the things that help make my life better. Traveling, outside time, etc. I included things that currently make my life better, and things that I imagine would make my life better-- like a house cleaner. Finally, I made a list of the things that would be a dream. Having a pool in the backyard, for example.
I went through the list and checked off as many as I could. Here’s my list:

Having it all means learning to be content. I could look at my list and decide that I don’t have it all until I’ve checked every single box. If I don’t have a Tesla then it’s not good enough. And maybe I go out and I work really hard and I get that Tesla. That’s great!
What about along the way? Did I find happiness along the way? Or did I tell myself that the Tesla was happiness?
In this age of Instagram and comparison, it can be easy to decide that you’ll be happy when you have the next big thing. Or that you won’t be happy until you have all the things. That’s just not true.
Happiness is sprinkled along the way. Having it all means collecting the joy along your path. It means having all the joy available to you right now.
I look around me and think how easy it would be to get frustrated. Our house is very small. The kitchen remodel has been in progress for a year. The bathroom needs urgent repairs. It would be so easy to lose the joy.
Truthfully, sometimes I do. Sometimes I get caught up in that comparison game and I think, “We don’t even have a guest room. How can I be happy if no one can visit us?” Then I remind myself of all the happiness I do have. Our house is lovely. It’s filled with plants and laughter. It’s just the right size for us right now. It’s a great equity builder. Our neighbors are fantastic.
There are so many joys right this moment and I have chosen to grab hold of them. That is how I have managed to have it all. I have the best of everything because I have chosen to make everything I have be the best.
Now it’s your turn to make your own lists. Here is a template that you can fill in. What are your joys right now? Grab hold of them. I bet you already have it all too.
Cheers!

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